Today is Christmas Day. Not a lot of Merry in the room at the moment. I need to shower, put clothes in the dryer, and… coffee… coffee is in there somewhere, I know it is.
Got the clothes in the dryer and coffee has been had, I even ate some Brussels Sprout Parmesan with sour cream. I love Brussels sprouts; I can eat them every day and not get tired of them. I used to eat them a lot when I was younger, but over the years I have lost the things I have loved; things like Brussels sprouts, things like reading and writing. Spending time with God every day and reading my Bible.
I got married, and over time my life conformed to living in his world. Liking what he liked and doing things he wanted to do. We bought ice cream, the kind he wanted, and watched the shows he liked. Went to bed when he wanted to go. Life was an on eggshells kind of life and God forbid if I didn’t pay attention. Fourteen years of walking out, a life of tiptoeing around his kingdom. I’m so glad I don’t have to do that anymore.
So now I get to learn about who I am and figure out the things I like in life. Remind myself that I love things like Brussels sprouts and I get to go to bed when I want. I’m still working on finding the flavor of ice cream I like; vanilla, chocolate, pistachio… wondering if I even like ice cream at all. I can’t remember ever eating it before I got married. However, when I buy it I find I eat it way too much.
This past weekend, I was blessed to receive a six-foot leather duo recliner sofa, armchair and ottoman, end table, bedside table, a full-size four-poster bed, Beauty rest mattress, and box springs. I had prayed last week, on Thursday, about getting furniture. By Friday morning, it was being delivered. God is so good to me.
My living room has been my bead studio for the past few years. I don’t entertain in my home, so I haven’t been very concerned with where anyone might set if they should come to visit. Then this past month I have been thinking more about my calling, my true calling, which is not beading or trying to make it into a business. I’m called to be a writer, a public speaker. Motivational speaker… like Tony Robbins move on over kind of speaker.
A few weeks after moving to Houston, I asked God “Where do I go from here? What next?” Deep in my spirit, I heard him reply, “Take no thought I will tend to you.”
That was in 2011, and here it is the end of 2018… He has always kept His promise to me. I, of course, have not been very successful at the “take no thought” part of His instructions.
In the process of thinking about this over the last few weeks, I have realized what I have known for some time now, that keeping the beads and beading studio cluttering up the place I am actually “taking thought.” Thinking that I could make something that someone would buy and possibly make a living at it, pay my bills and build an empire kind of thing.
Taking thought.
Not only has that not worked out for me, but it has hindered my success in developing my true call. How can I call myself a “writer” if I have not written anything of value? What am I called to write? Should I write novels? Or blog? I know that whatever I write, I want it to be inspirational. When others read my writing, I want them to be uplifted, encouraged, and inspired. To see a way to make it through whatever they’re going through. Whether it concerns health issues, financial problems, and relationship or self-image problems. To see a light at the end of the tunnel, and it is not the light of an oncoming train.
So I’m getting rid of all my beads. Turning my place into a regular home with furniture that is inviting. I’m still not going to be entertaining much, but I’m also sure that it will be more inviting for people. Who knows? Entertaining? Well, Domino’s delivers.
Today, I will spend alone my Christmas day with M.A.S.H. 4077, my pup and kitty by my side, and a maybe nice long hot bath. Which is where I think I’m headed now.
Oh, and plotting out where I want to place my new furniture.
Merry Christmas!
shattered.